Lovely Lemons

Picture it: you're making a recipe.  It calls for the juice from 1/2 lemon.  The other half returns to your refrigerator, where it is found a month later, covered in mold and shame.  I hate when this happens.  Citrus is expensive in Wisconsin, dammit.

Lemons are a hard working little fruit.  I mostly use them for one purpose and one purpose alone, but apparently they can be used for more than accompanying vodka cocktails (GASP!)

Suggestions I have successfully used are in bold.  Others I have not had the need or opportunity to try...but holy cow, the cheese grater tip is mind blowing.  I can't wait to make nachos.  Mmm...nachos.

Some handy tips, borrowed from http://www.crunchybetty.com/. 

1. Throw it in the garbage disposal. At the end of the evening, after dishes are rinsed and bellies are full, put half a lemon in the garbage disposal. Run hot water for a few seconds, and then run the disposal for a few seconds to lightly chop the lemon. Then leave it there overnight and finish the job in the morning. This works really well...your entire kitchen will smell lemony fresh.  It's especially effective if you've recently put fish or meat ickyness down your disposal.
2. Treat acne. Rub half a lemon on a clean, pimply face. Leave the juice for at least 20 minutes. (Avoid the sun for a few hours, as lemons can exacerbate sun sensitivity.)
3. Quickly clean a microwave. Squeeze the juice out of half a lemon and put it in a 1 cup of water in a microwave-safe bowl. Run the microwave for 5 minutes. The lemon juice steam majorly cuts down on wiping-off time.  A squeaky clean microwave with almost no elbow grease.
4. Whiten clothes and fabrics. As you’re filling your washing machine with water, dump 3 Tbsp.  juice in and let it do its job.
5. Soothe sunburns. Rub half a lemon (or even the cut side of a juiced lemon) over achy burned spots. Soothes on contact!
6. Scrub stuck-on food. Pour a little salt on half a lemon and go to down on the crusties left over from cooking. This was especially helpful on the glass pan full of baked spaghetti I left in the oven for far too long.
7. Get rid of corny feet. If you’re blessed with corns on your feet, try cutting a tiny bit of lemon peel. Rub the white side over the corn and then tape it to your foot for a few hours. Repeat if necessary.
8. Banish greasy hair. After conditioning your hair, use 2 Tbsp. and 3 cups water as a final rinse. Beautiful, darling!
9. Freshen musty areas. Remove the meat from half a lemon slice and fill with salt. Stick it in stink-prone areas.  I have one of these in my front closet (husband's stinky shoes) and one in my bathroom (old house = no ventilation...it's musty in there).  This tip works well when you need lemon juice, and want to repurpose the sad lemon carcasses.
10. Freshen the whole house. Toss some lemon peels in a pot of water and let it boil gently until the water’s gone. The whole house is now lemony fresh.
11. Wash your face. Add lemon juice to two slices of cut cucumber and wash your face with it. Soothes, clarifies, and brightens skin.
12. Whiten and brighten fingernails. Either juice half a lemon in a small bowl of water and soak your fingernails in that for 10 minutes, or just put your fingernails directly into a juiced lemon and let them sit for a while. Finish with a vinegar rinse, and your fingernails are stronger and brighter!
13. Sanitize a cutting board. Run half a juiced lemon over your cutting board/chopping block after you’ve washed it. Not only will this sanitize, but it’ll help fade stains.  This one pretty much explains itself.
14. Whiten discolored elbows, heels, and knees. Just rub half a juiced lemon over the spotty areas and watch them disappear.
15. Add highlights to hair. Who didn’t try this as a kid? But it works! Select small chunks of hair to highlight and rub lemon juice on them. Stay out in the sun for a couple of hours. Beach bunny, that’s what you are.
16. Quickly clean stuck cheese off a grater. I used to spend many eye-rolling minutes trying to get mushed in cheese off the grater. Not anymore. Just rub half a juiced lemon over the stuck-on spots, and they quickly unstick and clean.
17. Lighten age spots. Wherever you have darkened spots of telltale aging, dab a little lemon juice for a couple of days in a row. Lightened. Vanishing. Done.
18. Get rid of dragon breath. Squish a little lemon juice in a small bit of water and swish it around in your mouth for a few seconds. Swallow for extra freshening, for aid in digestion, and for a nice jolt of vitamin C!
19. Make your own fruit and veggie wash. I have yet to try this, but it sounds so promising – and CRAZY inexpensive! Mix together 1 Tbsp lemon juice, 2 Tbsp vinegar, and 1 C. water. Go to town on your fruits and veggies before eating them.  I have actually done this, it works pretty well!  However, I am partial to Logan Creek's Tea Tree fruit and veggie wash...if you live in Door County, they sell it at their store and the Healthy Way carries it, too...it's amazing stuff.

In case you're wondering, I haven't made the bug spray yet.  I went to Minnesota twice (hi, cousins!) and had houseguests, we had an orphaned cat living with us until it died (RIP Biscuit)...but now I'm home for awhile and back in the groove of experimenting with DIY funsies.  Stay tuned.

Insect Repellant

Ever notice how DEET smells like crap?  Is it the actual chemical, or the horrible stank that keeps bugs at bay?  Perhaps the world will never know...

One of my co-workers (Hi, Kendall!) had the idea to make her own insect repellant to keep chemicals off her two kiddos.  Best.  Idea.  Ever.  In fact, I'm annoyed I didn't think of it. 

She is using a recipe she found online, with witch hazel and essential oils.  I plan to try one this week that's witch hazel with lavender, peppermint, and Tea Tree oil.  If I can find some Neem oil I'll use that too.  I'm most concerned with mosquitos and ticks, hence my combination.  Recipe below, details to come...I'll update after I actually make this recipe and let you know if it works well for keeping buggies off, or if it just smells delightful.

10-20 drops of essential oils (details below)
1 tbsp of aloe vera gel
1/4 cup of witch hazel
1/4 cup of distilled water

Oils:
To repel ticks, use lavender or geranium.
To repel mosquitoes, use rosemary, thyme, citronella, catnip, clove, lemongrass, peppermint, neem, tea tree, oil of lemon eucalyptus.
Neem apparently is all-purpose.
White vanilla extract is apparently excellent as well.  Some of my crunchy granola style hippie friends just rub lavender leaves in their pits.  Whatever works, I guess.

Updates to come.  Stay tuned.

Powdered Laundry Detergent

I got turned on to the idea of making my own laundry detergent about 2 years ago.  It's a simple, inexpensive process, and is a great way for beginners to start eliminating unnecessary chemicals from their home.

All you need are a few ingredients and a little spare time.

You will need:

1 box of Borax (I believe it's 72oz, though it may be 76)

2 boxes of Washing Soda (55oz each)

3 bars of soap (Ivory, Fels Naptha, or Dr.Bronners, or any combination.  I use one of each...Ivory because it's cheap, Fels Naptha because of the stain removal power, and Dr.Bronner's because it smells so dang good)

Optional: 1-2 cups of Oxi Clean

Instructions:

Grate the bars of soap.  This is the most arduous part of the process.  I do it while catching up on Dance Moms Miami.  Or you could make your kids do it.  It might sound like common sense, but watch your fingers.  Cheese graters are sharp and I definately lost a few layers of skin making my first batch. (a cheese grater, a food mill, or a Kitchenaid processor all work very well)

In the biggest mixing bowl you can find, or in a paper grocery bag, mix all ingredients.  Make sure the bag is sturdy to avoid having to sweep billions of Borax granules from your kitchen floor.

Pour into a container and get a-washin.  Makes 1.5-1.75 gallons worth.  I went to Walmart and bought two plastic gallon-sized storage canisters to keep it in. 

One tablespoon cleans a full-sized load of laundry.  Seriously.  If you have a super grimy load of laundry, it may require 2 tbsp.  I also use 2 tbsp for towels, just because they're so dang heavy.

My husband and I use a batch of this approx every 5-6 months.

Here is the best part: the cost breakdown.

One batch of this soap makes at least 300 loads of laundry (1 tbsp per load, 1 gallon = 256 loads, x1.5 =384 loads).

Fels Naptha $3/bar, Dr.Bronners $5/bar, Ivory $1/bar, Washing Soda $5/box (x2 boxes), Borax $6/box, Oxi Clean (the smallest canister) $3.  It costs approx $28 to make enough laundry detergent for at least 300 loads of laundry.

If you bought Tide Free (the scent/dye free kind), 64 loads worth is $12 (the cheapest I've found it.  You would spend at least $90 to buy enough Tide to clean 300 loads of laundry. 

I know, right?  AMAZING.

Plus, there aren't any freaky dyes, chemicals, or perfumes in it.  It's pretty much exactly what your granny used to keep grandpa's knickers gleaming white. 

I should also state: my husband has psoriasis and I have eczema, and neither of our skin conditions are exacerbated by this laundry soap.  It's gentle enough for finicky skin and new baby bums.

Welcome to my slum

I was a college student for 7 years.  SEVEN FLIPPIN YEARS.  (Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably 8 years).  I could practically be a doctor.  Instead, I chose International Studies (totally unemployable.  Read: I smoked a lot of pot in college and needed a major that didn't involve a whole hell of a lot of studying.  Twenty-one year olds are excellent decision makers) as my undergraduate major.  I taught overseas (rewarding, fun, an amazing adventure, but I made $175 a month).  I came back to the US, picked the lice out of my hair, and I decided to go to nursing school.  A two year program that would let me make mad bank at the end, and care for people?  Heck yeah!

I've been a nurse for almost three years.  In that time I've learned that "mad bank" is not nearly as "mad" as I thought it would be.  Not even close.  I would actually make more if I became a sanitation worker or a manager at Arbys.  But, I love being a nurse.  I love my patients, I love the doctors I work with, I love my little rural clinic and attached hospital.  But the money sucks.  My husband is a compassionate and skilled personal care worker.  He loves it, and his clients love him, but the money sucks.
Why I am telling you about my financial woes?  Well, that's how I got started in "homesteading." 

I actually kind of feel like a pretentious ass when I refer to "homesteading."  Pa Ingalls was a homesteader...walking across hundreds of miles of uncharted lands, building houses, breaking land, almost dying of malaria...he was hardcore.  I just got a glass of ice water from my fridge and my lunch is cooking in the microwave.  A homesteader I am not. 
Unfortunately, that's the most recognizable way to sum up what I do: make things myself instead of buying them at Walmart or Target; saving money, and being a little greener.  I love Mother Earth, but I'm mostly in this to save money.

This blog will be a resource for others who want to start "homesteading."  I will chronicle my successes and miserable failures, so hopefully you won't waste time repeating my mistakes.

I do not claim to be the author or inventor of any links posted or referenced in this blog.  Other people were pretentious asses long before I jumped on the train, and the internet is rife with useful information. 


***FYI, I have friends who work at Walmart and Target, and I do still shop there.  I have nothing against these corporations, I just hate giving ANYONE more money than I have to.***

***I also should put the disclaimer on this entry that though I mention pot smoking, I haven't done this since well before I became a nurse.

***Also, I have nothing against ghettos or slums.  That's just what I call my part of town.  It's a joke, take it easy...my town has 9000 people, there is no ghetto.  But if a drug bust is to be found in this little burg, you can bet your bottom dollar it'll be at one of my neighbor's houses.