Banana

My face has been feeling really dry lately.  For some unfathomable reason, I am also getting zits on my chin.  It's a real bummer.
I made myself a face mask last night to try to rectify the problem.  Who knows if it's working yet, but my face does feel smooth and fantastic.

1 mashed banana
2 tbsp honey
1/3 cup of oatmeal (ground up if you have the time)
1 tbsp of milk

Mix it all together, slather it on your face, wait 10-20 minutes and rinse.  This recipe will give you enough for at least 2-3 masks, so fling the leftovers in the fridge and use within 3 days.

Smells so good you'll want to lick your own face off.  I would not recommend using this recipe if you have hungry pets with sharp teeth.

i've been a slovenly, lazy blogger

i haven't posted since july.  JULY dude.  sorry, miso lazy!

i've been busy as a bee making lip balm, jewelry, bath salts (not the drug, but actual salts to put in your actual bath), body butter, etc for christmas.  once i get my shit together, i will post again, i swear.


please don't abandon me.  xoxo

Scrubby time!

It's hotter than a thousand blazing suns outside.
It's so humid, I feel like I'm breathing soup.
It hasn't rained in weeks.

Not only is this weather the bullshit of all bullshit, the local farmers (and nationwide, no doubt) are screwed.

 Also, to be petty and selfish, I feel like crap and my skin is disgusting.

I started exploring my kitchen, trying to find things to use to scrub all the icky dead skin off and moisturize my face while not making it feel clogged and heavy, like it already does.

Enter the baking ingredients.

My perfect trifecta.  Brown sugar, honey, olive oil.

The quality of ingredients is important.  Don't buy that 99 cent honeybear crap and expect it to work.  They pasteurize all the benefits out of it.  You want raw honey!  It might look opaque, it might look kinda chunky.  It might have bits of wax in it.  It might start to crystallize, but don't fret: honey seriously has no expiration date.  Ever.  If you can't find raw honey (check at farmers markets and health food stores), you want unpasteurized honey.  They heat it up, but not enough to kill all the beneficial enzymes.
Honey has natural antimicrobial properties, is a good drawing agent, and moisturizes the heck out of your skin.  It also is slightly drying (which sounds like a contradiction) by getting rid of excess oil.

Likewise, the greener your olive oil, the more phytochemicals and whatnot are left in it.  Does this really matter for your skin?  Who knows, but it's not that more expensive, and it's more useful in the kitchen anways.

To make this glorious scrub:
1 part honey
1 part olive oil
1-2 parts brown sugar

Sexy, right?

Mix in a little dish.  Apply with damp fingers to a dry face.  Sit around for 5-10 minutes. Wet your hands again and massage the scrub into your face. (If you don't have time to sit around, just apply and scrub right away).


If you make a little extra, throw it in the fridge and use within 3 days.  I don't recommend doing this more than once or twice a week.  Happy scrubbing!

Keep Cool, my Babies!

Brimstone and hellfire.  It is hot in Wisconsin right now.  Leaving my air-conditioned work sanctuary is like walking through and subsequently breathing a bowl of hot soup.  My husband says it feels like an armpit outside.  Well said, honey.
We have a wall AC unit in our little house.  It cools a couple of rooms, but due to the layout of our house, our bedroom is hotter than a whore in church all. The. Freaking. Time.  We lay in bed with our c-pap masks on in pools of sweat, trying not to touch each other.  Sexy, right?
In addition to the fiery temperatures this week, my husband scored himself a nice sunburn.  That's what he gets for going to the beach when I'm stuck at work.  (Just kidding Jeffer, I really do feel bad for you).

Seeing him wallow in crispy red, exhaused misery, and sweating my patootie off myself, I decided to take action.  I looked through my bathroom cabinets and began to experiment.  What I made turned out to be amazing.  Skin soothing Aloe and Witch Hazel, tingly peppermint and calming neroli.  It's the bees knees.

Keep Cool Spray:
*1 part Aloe Vera Gel (100%, don't get the crap with alcohol and dyes in it if you can help it)
*1 part Witch Hazel
        (this is not an exact science.  I used 4 ounce spray bottles and just filled them halfway with Witch Hazel and topped them off with Aloe Vera Gel)
*Approx 5 drops of Peppermint essential oil per ounce of finished product (4 oz bottle = 1 used 20 drops.  Start with a small amount and add if needed.  You can always add more later...you can't take it out.  My husband said it stung his sunburn a little so I made him a weaker version)
*1-2 drops of Neroli essential oil per ounce of finished product (I used 5 drops in 4 ounces of finished product)
*Optional: you can use Chamomile, Calendula, Yarrow, etc EO in your version instead of or in addition to the Neroli...anything calming or soothing would work.  I used Neroli with the peppermint because I had some on hand and I like the way it smells.!
*Empty spray containers
*A funnel.  For the love of God, use a funnel.

Chicago Cutlery not necessary to make this product.

 

Line up the ingredients and get a'mixin!  Experiment with the oil types and quantities.  Peppermint will make it cooling and tingly, so I like to leave that one in and experiment with the additional oils. 

Ok, the cost breakdown:

The essential oils are kind of expensive.  But as you'll notice, I use them in a lot of products and they last a long time.  I usually don't include them in the cost breakdowns, but for example, the Peppermint oil cost $8.75 and the Neroli was $14.79.  Both of them have a shelf life of about a decade (most EOs do, except citrus, just FYI).  Also, at 1-20 drops of oil per "recipe," they will be used in hundreds of items before the bottles are empty.  I've had my Peppermint oil for 2 years and the bottle is almost half full.  Anyway: The Aloe Vera Gel was $5.79 and I used about 25% of the bottle (if that).  The Witch Hazel was $1.00, and I used about 3/4 of the bottle.  To be honest though, next time I would get Dickinson's Witch Hazel which is usually $4.79 at my local Pharmacy for a larger bottle...but I'll base the cost breakdown on what I used/spent this time.

$5.79/4 = $1.44

$1.00 x 0.75 = $0.75

Two 4oz bottles of glorious, all natural, skin friendly, no crap additives allowed soothing spray cost $2.19. 

Look, Twins!

Happy Summer!

Lovely Lemons

Picture it: you're making a recipe.  It calls for the juice from 1/2 lemon.  The other half returns to your refrigerator, where it is found a month later, covered in mold and shame.  I hate when this happens.  Citrus is expensive in Wisconsin, dammit.

Lemons are a hard working little fruit.  I mostly use them for one purpose and one purpose alone, but apparently they can be used for more than accompanying vodka cocktails (GASP!)

Suggestions I have successfully used are in bold.  Others I have not had the need or opportunity to try...but holy cow, the cheese grater tip is mind blowing.  I can't wait to make nachos.  Mmm...nachos.

Some handy tips, borrowed from http://www.crunchybetty.com/. 

1. Throw it in the garbage disposal. At the end of the evening, after dishes are rinsed and bellies are full, put half a lemon in the garbage disposal. Run hot water for a few seconds, and then run the disposal for a few seconds to lightly chop the lemon. Then leave it there overnight and finish the job in the morning. This works really well...your entire kitchen will smell lemony fresh.  It's especially effective if you've recently put fish or meat ickyness down your disposal.
2. Treat acne. Rub half a lemon on a clean, pimply face. Leave the juice for at least 20 minutes. (Avoid the sun for a few hours, as lemons can exacerbate sun sensitivity.)
3. Quickly clean a microwave. Squeeze the juice out of half a lemon and put it in a 1 cup of water in a microwave-safe bowl. Run the microwave for 5 minutes. The lemon juice steam majorly cuts down on wiping-off time.  A squeaky clean microwave with almost no elbow grease.
4. Whiten clothes and fabrics. As you’re filling your washing machine with water, dump 3 Tbsp.  juice in and let it do its job.
5. Soothe sunburns. Rub half a lemon (or even the cut side of a juiced lemon) over achy burned spots. Soothes on contact!
6. Scrub stuck-on food. Pour a little salt on half a lemon and go to down on the crusties left over from cooking. This was especially helpful on the glass pan full of baked spaghetti I left in the oven for far too long.
7. Get rid of corny feet. If you’re blessed with corns on your feet, try cutting a tiny bit of lemon peel. Rub the white side over the corn and then tape it to your foot for a few hours. Repeat if necessary.
8. Banish greasy hair. After conditioning your hair, use 2 Tbsp. and 3 cups water as a final rinse. Beautiful, darling!
9. Freshen musty areas. Remove the meat from half a lemon slice and fill with salt. Stick it in stink-prone areas.  I have one of these in my front closet (husband's stinky shoes) and one in my bathroom (old house = no ventilation...it's musty in there).  This tip works well when you need lemon juice, and want to repurpose the sad lemon carcasses.
10. Freshen the whole house. Toss some lemon peels in a pot of water and let it boil gently until the water’s gone. The whole house is now lemony fresh.
11. Wash your face. Add lemon juice to two slices of cut cucumber and wash your face with it. Soothes, clarifies, and brightens skin.
12. Whiten and brighten fingernails. Either juice half a lemon in a small bowl of water and soak your fingernails in that for 10 minutes, or just put your fingernails directly into a juiced lemon and let them sit for a while. Finish with a vinegar rinse, and your fingernails are stronger and brighter!
13. Sanitize a cutting board. Run half a juiced lemon over your cutting board/chopping block after you’ve washed it. Not only will this sanitize, but it’ll help fade stains.  This one pretty much explains itself.
14. Whiten discolored elbows, heels, and knees. Just rub half a juiced lemon over the spotty areas and watch them disappear.
15. Add highlights to hair. Who didn’t try this as a kid? But it works! Select small chunks of hair to highlight and rub lemon juice on them. Stay out in the sun for a couple of hours. Beach bunny, that’s what you are.
16. Quickly clean stuck cheese off a grater. I used to spend many eye-rolling minutes trying to get mushed in cheese off the grater. Not anymore. Just rub half a juiced lemon over the stuck-on spots, and they quickly unstick and clean.
17. Lighten age spots. Wherever you have darkened spots of telltale aging, dab a little lemon juice for a couple of days in a row. Lightened. Vanishing. Done.
18. Get rid of dragon breath. Squish a little lemon juice in a small bit of water and swish it around in your mouth for a few seconds. Swallow for extra freshening, for aid in digestion, and for a nice jolt of vitamin C!
19. Make your own fruit and veggie wash. I have yet to try this, but it sounds so promising – and CRAZY inexpensive! Mix together 1 Tbsp lemon juice, 2 Tbsp vinegar, and 1 C. water. Go to town on your fruits and veggies before eating them.  I have actually done this, it works pretty well!  However, I am partial to Logan Creek's Tea Tree fruit and veggie wash...if you live in Door County, they sell it at their store and the Healthy Way carries it, too...it's amazing stuff.

In case you're wondering, I haven't made the bug spray yet.  I went to Minnesota twice (hi, cousins!) and had houseguests, we had an orphaned cat living with us until it died (RIP Biscuit)...but now I'm home for awhile and back in the groove of experimenting with DIY funsies.  Stay tuned.

Insect Repellant

Ever notice how DEET smells like crap?  Is it the actual chemical, or the horrible stank that keeps bugs at bay?  Perhaps the world will never know...

One of my co-workers (Hi, Kendall!) had the idea to make her own insect repellant to keep chemicals off her two kiddos.  Best.  Idea.  Ever.  In fact, I'm annoyed I didn't think of it. 

She is using a recipe she found online, with witch hazel and essential oils.  I plan to try one this week that's witch hazel with lavender, peppermint, and Tea Tree oil.  If I can find some Neem oil I'll use that too.  I'm most concerned with mosquitos and ticks, hence my combination.  Recipe below, details to come...I'll update after I actually make this recipe and let you know if it works well for keeping buggies off, or if it just smells delightful.

10-20 drops of essential oils (details below)
1 tbsp of aloe vera gel
1/4 cup of witch hazel
1/4 cup of distilled water

Oils:
To repel ticks, use lavender or geranium.
To repel mosquitoes, use rosemary, thyme, citronella, catnip, clove, lemongrass, peppermint, neem, tea tree, oil of lemon eucalyptus.
Neem apparently is all-purpose.
White vanilla extract is apparently excellent as well.  Some of my crunchy granola style hippie friends just rub lavender leaves in their pits.  Whatever works, I guess.

Updates to come.  Stay tuned.

Powdered Laundry Detergent

I got turned on to the idea of making my own laundry detergent about 2 years ago.  It's a simple, inexpensive process, and is a great way for beginners to start eliminating unnecessary chemicals from their home.

All you need are a few ingredients and a little spare time.

You will need:

1 box of Borax (I believe it's 72oz, though it may be 76)

2 boxes of Washing Soda (55oz each)

3 bars of soap (Ivory, Fels Naptha, or Dr.Bronners, or any combination.  I use one of each...Ivory because it's cheap, Fels Naptha because of the stain removal power, and Dr.Bronner's because it smells so dang good)

Optional: 1-2 cups of Oxi Clean

Instructions:

Grate the bars of soap.  This is the most arduous part of the process.  I do it while catching up on Dance Moms Miami.  Or you could make your kids do it.  It might sound like common sense, but watch your fingers.  Cheese graters are sharp and I definately lost a few layers of skin making my first batch. (a cheese grater, a food mill, or a Kitchenaid processor all work very well)

In the biggest mixing bowl you can find, or in a paper grocery bag, mix all ingredients.  Make sure the bag is sturdy to avoid having to sweep billions of Borax granules from your kitchen floor.

Pour into a container and get a-washin.  Makes 1.5-1.75 gallons worth.  I went to Walmart and bought two plastic gallon-sized storage canisters to keep it in. 

One tablespoon cleans a full-sized load of laundry.  Seriously.  If you have a super grimy load of laundry, it may require 2 tbsp.  I also use 2 tbsp for towels, just because they're so dang heavy.

My husband and I use a batch of this approx every 5-6 months.

Here is the best part: the cost breakdown.

One batch of this soap makes at least 300 loads of laundry (1 tbsp per load, 1 gallon = 256 loads, x1.5 =384 loads).

Fels Naptha $3/bar, Dr.Bronners $5/bar, Ivory $1/bar, Washing Soda $5/box (x2 boxes), Borax $6/box, Oxi Clean (the smallest canister) $3.  It costs approx $28 to make enough laundry detergent for at least 300 loads of laundry.

If you bought Tide Free (the scent/dye free kind), 64 loads worth is $12 (the cheapest I've found it.  You would spend at least $90 to buy enough Tide to clean 300 loads of laundry. 

I know, right?  AMAZING.

Plus, there aren't any freaky dyes, chemicals, or perfumes in it.  It's pretty much exactly what your granny used to keep grandpa's knickers gleaming white. 

I should also state: my husband has psoriasis and I have eczema, and neither of our skin conditions are exacerbated by this laundry soap.  It's gentle enough for finicky skin and new baby bums.